I’ll Clean You Off

Hollow holes inside this dreary mind

Sending me down spiral backroads  

That find a place to drop you off

and leave you far behind.

Gravel that leads me to new becomings

Embracing what used to tie knots inside my stomach.

A fickle heart that holds the power to harden mine,

Lonesome lips that we’ve been using to kill time.

I cannot see you anymore 

I’m a migrating shorebird

With a song in my head

A broken window

Accompanied by an orchestration of flailing chimes.

I cannot see you anymore,

I’ll sit with quicksand retrospections of what was never mine.

I don't believe in words, 

They can be as empty as these drifting lines.

I cannot see you anymore,

For my eyes have been swallowed by such grievous light. 

Apologies that haven’t always been transparent 

Sympathy that feels like swatting flies.

I’m sick of staring at my face

I’m growing ill from believing in my own lies.

Unfamiliar with the words that come to you,

A surge of impatience from not knowing 

What is wrong and what is right.

Just like Apple trees aren't Sycamores,  

The bark underneath my fingernails

Still feels the same.

Splintering and hot.

How do I lose touch 

The way that you do so graciously?

I’ll soak and then watch as my apprehensiveness 

Circles the drain.

I’ll clean you off.

I’ll hold your pain.

I’ll let this die.